Unlimited Fun

SHUDH HINDI MEANINGS FOR SOME ENGLISH WORDS CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe Le takaatak de takaatak LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par Le tada tad, de tada tad LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak TIE : Kanth Langoti MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr RAILWAY SIGNAL : Loh Path Gamini Suchak Yantra RAILWAY SIGNAL : Agni Rath Aava Gaman Soochak Pattika RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev CIGERETTE : Shweta patra mandit dhumra shalakha praveen.

1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship 2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain 3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya" 4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip 5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson 6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees. And last but not least 7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom ...

1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses. 3. We never ejaculate prematurely. 4. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 5. When we buy a vibrator it's glamorous. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic. 6. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 7. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 8. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 9. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. 10. Taxis stop for us. 11. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 12. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 13. Free drinks, free dinners, free moving (you get the point?). 14. We can hug our friend without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 15. We know the truth about whether size matters. 16. New lip...

Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations : 1.) At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. ..... Stupid Question :- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer :- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.. ****** 2.) In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question :- Sorry, did that hurt? Answer :- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again. ****** 3.) At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question :- Why, why him, of all people. Answer :- Why? Would it rather have been you? ****** 4.) At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question :- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good?? Answer :- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it. ****** 5.) At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years Stupid Question :- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer :- Well you have...

"YOU love someone YOU marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your wife or husband. And the one you loved becomes the password of your mail id" ********* There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it. ********* Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects... ********* Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife Kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney. ********* Generation Next Motto Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko Karne denge.: ********* What's the difference between Dava & Daru? Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utni sir Chad ke bolegi. *********

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN . The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free. The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNO...

Story I E: Do u have a boyfriend? C: I have. E: Is he working Locally? C: No. He is working Overseas. E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u ! C: Why? E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u. ********* Story II E: Any girl friends? C: No. E: So far chased any before? C: Have, but not successful. E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend? C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This personal issue. E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u. C: Why? E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!! ********* Story III E: Any girlfriends? C: Yes. E: Is she pretty? C: Not quite. E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you. C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation? E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist. ********* Story IV E: Any girlf...

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. ********** My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is. ********** I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. ********** The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. ********** I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. ********** I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ********** The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. ********** I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. ********** If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. **********

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... No." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving h...

This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy(X) X: Which shaving cream do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which aftershave do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which deodorant do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which toothpaste do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which shampoo do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which socks do you use? Y: Baba's X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company??? .. .. Y: No, He is my roommate Cheers to all the bachelors of the world!!!! Married people (or soon-to-get-married) can observe 2 minutes of silence to mourn the loss of this privilege.

What MEN / WOMEN Says and What their actual Meanings. WOMEN'S WORDS 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Fine, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you idiot! 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? ********* MEN'S WORDS 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you *********

SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE "LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS" REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY September 30,2007 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. ****** Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. ****** Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 p.m. For 2 hours. ****** Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. ****** Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. ****** Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets...

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. ********* To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy. ********* The road to success??.. Is always under construction. ********* Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. ********* In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. ********* All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening. ********* Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. ********* Everyone has a scheme of getting rich.. Which never works. ********* If at first you don't succeed.. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. ********* You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side. ********* Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner. ********* 42.7% of all statisticsare made on the spot. ********* If you...

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN . The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free. The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNO...

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT 2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output 3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses 4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions 5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems 6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping 7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds 8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines 9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly 10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors 11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings 12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible 13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort 14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers 15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go 17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd. 18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India 19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees. 20. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana 21.PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing. Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death. Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta. Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot ...

Men are of different types Some Examples - INTERNET man - Man of difficult access SERVER man - Always busy when you need him WINDOWS man - Everyone knows that he can't do a thing right, but no one can live without him EXCEL man - They say he can do a lot of things, but you mostly use him to achieve your basic requirements D.O.S. Man - Everyone had him, but no one wants him any more VIRUS man - Also known as spouse, when you are not expecting him, he comes , install himself and uses all your resources, if you try to uninstall him you will lose something, if you don't uninstall him you will lose everything. SCREENSAVER man - he is not worth for anything, but at least he is fun RAM man - he forgets everything you say when you disconnect him HARD DISK man - he remembers everything forever MULTIMEDIA man - he makes horrible things look beautiful USER man - he messes up everything he does and he ask always more than he needs CD-ROM man - he is always faster and faster

1. Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. 2. Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa. 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4. When someone says, "Have a nice day," say you have other plans. 5. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like. 6. Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram. 7. Make a list of things to do that you've already done. 8. Dance naked in front of your pets. 9. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing were wrong. 10. Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman Numerals.

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.   9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken.  If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.   8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling..... And I'll think about returning your call.   7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.  Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.   6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send mone...