Unlimited Fun

P'njaab Airways : IN-FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal. On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is your Flight Supervisor Banta Singh "Bunty" welcoming to you on the P'njaab Airways flight no. 9211 (Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana. We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in the night. Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be landing d'rectly in your v'llage. P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us. I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 90% of our p'ssaingers have reached to their dest'nation. For the rest 10%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our...

Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, " After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed h...

Subh ka har pal Zindagi de aapko, Din ka har Lamha Khushi de aapko, Jahan gum ki hawa chu ke bhi na gujare, Khuda woh Jannat si Zamin de Aapko. Guds Mrng ...................................... You r my sweet SONA, I don't want u KHONA, I want a place in your heart's KONA, Otherwise i will start RONA, Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA ...................................... Suraj ki pahli kiran Khushi de apko, Dusri kiran hasi de Tisri tandurasti Chouthi kamyabi Bas kafi ho gaya. Ab garmi lagegi?!! ..Gud mrng ...................................... Morning is God's way of saying: "One more time! Live life. Make a difference. Touch 1 heart. Encourage 1 mind. Inspire 1 soul..." Gud Morg... ......................................

Universal law of Love: " Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money " First law of Love: " a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. " Second law of Love: " the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. " Third law of Love: " the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

Son: "Daddy, may I ask you a question" Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?" Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour" Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" Daddy: "I make Rs. 500 an hour" "Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down. Looking up, he said, "Dad, may I please borrow Rs. 300?" The father was furious,"if the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense, then march yourself to your room and go to bed. Think why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior" The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed ...

School: A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays. Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. Nurse: A person who works up to give you sleeping pills. Love Affairs: Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. Divorce: Future tense of Marriage. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and e...

in order to get a joba man rerequires 100% talent... where as a female requires only 4% talent.. remainig is .. \3/\6/ )24( (3|6) ................................................. On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazyhusband says"My sweet darlingI am going to take you to moon tonight." The impatient wife says"Surebut first at least let's see the rocket to get there." ................................................. Sex is like Pizza When its hot ym.. it's VERY GOOD. But then when it's cold its still goo....d. ................................................. The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death ! .................................................