Cool meanings

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.


Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.


Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master


Divorce:

Future tense of marriage


Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.


Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .


Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.


Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.


Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.


Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.


Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.


Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY


Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


Father:

A banker provided by nature.


Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.


Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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