Unlimited Fun

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife...

will u be my frinedship with me? plz?????? (ya sure) im all alone and in need of frinedship and friends. (ill gladly be ur friend if only you wud improve ur english) helelo i want friesship with u. (that reminds me of kkkkkiran) i want to be closed friend with u. (when were we open?) i want 2 b frands with you. (yup frands) i want to be close friendship with u. (then be. cuz im closed for you) please reply me to me weather we r frinds or not? (then you reply to urself dear me to me) behtarin....love...... can v b plas? (r we gonna fix a car? or screw some nuts?) itne mast mails kahaan se laati ho love? can there be friends between us?and if frinedship is accepted. then..... okkkk thunks. thunk u so muck that u become my freind!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .................do u have an a a/c in orkat????????? if u have plz sand me u r link. (notice the space between u and r. it completely changes the meaning of the sentence. the sentence now becomes "if u have plz sand me you are link")

Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess — with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class a...

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know "why" some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom miss quote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there "are" children more awful than your own. 6. We child proof our homes ... but they are still getting in ! Advice for the Day ! Be nice to your kids " They " will choose your nursing home ... And finally ... If you have a lot of tension and you get headaches too "Do what the aspirin bottle says" Take 2 aspirin and ... "Keep Away From Children "

BEST INTERVIEW - Office Humor :) JUST GO THROUGH IT , YOU WILL ENJOY One of the best interviews!!! Interviewer: Tell me about yourself. Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology. Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before! Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya. Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering. Candidate: Actually I tried my best ...

[1] IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE AGAINST HER WILL, IS IT CONSIDERED RAPE OR SHOPLIFTING? [2] CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER? [3] HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED? [4] WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN"... BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO? [5] ONCE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY? [6] WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX? [7] WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE? [8] HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE? [9] WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS? [10] IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING? [11] WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU'RE ON TV? [12] WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDINGS AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BIN...