Unlimited Fun

Man : Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden! Officer : Don’t worry. If no one claims it Within three days, you can keep it. ************************************************************************ mana hum itne SWEET nahi, k diabetes ho jaye. nahi itne SALTY k BP badh jaye, nahi itne TASTY k habit ban jaye, aur hum itne KADWE bhi nahi k yaad hi naa aaye....MISS ME ALWAYS ************************************************************************* Maalik Naukar say : yeh tum kisi bhi kaam k liye jaatay ho to wapas aanay main 2-3 ghantay kyun laga daitay ho. ? Naukar : sahab aap nay he to kaha tha k bijli ki tarah kaam karna ... ************************************************************************ Apne Dil ki baat apaku keh nahi sakte, Binkahe bhi jee nahi sakte, Ae khuda aisi takdir bana, aap hamse khud akar kahe Hum apke bina reh nahi sakte. ************************************************************************* santa was playing Chess with his Dog! Fr...

Our FRIENDSHIP is a blank cheque for ME It"s an ASSET not a LIABLITY Always a CREDITnot DEBIT Always a PROFIT not a LOSS & I HOPE IT WILL NOT BOUNCE! ******************************************** I may not be The most important person in ur LIFE... But I just hope that One day whn U hear my name U wud just SMILE & SAY "Hey thats my friend" ********************************************** Gadha Jo khaaye wo Ghaas ho tum, Buddhe ka Chyawanpraash ho tum, Idiot, stupid, bakwaas ho tum, Par Jo bhi ho! Yaar! Dost Jhakaas ho tum. ********************************************** FRIENDSHIP is not how u forget,      But How you forgive,      Not How you listen      But How you understand,      Not What you see,      But How you feel,   But Not How you let it go      But How you HOLD ON . *******************************************...

Lawyer to Santa: 'Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... ' Santa:'Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya To court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!' *********************************************************** A teacher told all students in a class To write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Santa. He wrote 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!' *********************************************************** Q:) How do U recognize Santa in school or College??? A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks The teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!! *********************************************************** After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice. He checked his first patient's Eyes, Then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!! *********************************************************** A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell, Santa doesn't turns up for 4 day...

Yeh student ki pehchan hai. Hath mein cigret mun me pan hai. Mashoor ye shetan hai. Yeh student ki pehchan hai. Padna isay ata nahi, Class me kabi jata nahi, Canteen iski jaan hai, Yeh student ki pehchan hai **************************************************** Ek bar 300 Pathan ship mein travel kar rahay the, Lakin sare k sare mar gayeee, Kaise? Nothing serious, Ship bich mein kharab ho gai, To Dhaka denay neachey uttar gayeeeeee . ****************************************************** Shadi main ladkiko itna kyo sajaya jata hain.Any guess....? OK, I willtell u... Maal kaisa bhi ho paking achha hona chahiye ****************************************************** Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai Upar likha hai most wanted Neeche 25 paise ka inaam hai ****************************************************** College ki galion mein ajjeb khel hota hai, Class ke bahane dilo ka khel hota hai, Notes ki jagah luvmail hota hai, ...

Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi. Ek ladki NE electric office me phone karke kaha: Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo. Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo... ==================== SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby HURRY UP First ten will get twins ===================== Chacha chachi donon lafangay, So rahay thay donon nangay, Chachi ko lagi thand, Chacha nay dia Lund, Chachi boli yah kia gund, Chacha bola machine gun, Dhasaan dhasan.. Dhasaan dhasaan... ===================== Sales Girl: sorry sir you can"t smoke here. Customer: but I bought cigarate from this shop. Sales Girl: we sell condom also But it dosn"t mean you start fucking here. ==================== Har mard ki life dekho to Without shadi SPIDERMAN Shadi k time SUPERMAN Shadi k bad GENTLEMAN Or Biwi khubsurat ho to puri umar WATCHMAN

Gandhi Bapu Ne Bola tha AgaR TmhaRe Kisi Dost Ki Tabiat Kharab Ho Tou Use Ek Bookey Do Aur Kaho. Get Well Soon Mamu ===================== Early In the Morning Sun Rise With May Hopse But Its Set With Hopelessly. All Da Flowers Were Bloom This Evening With Pleasant Smell But Its Now Wither Awfully N Tonight All The Stars Came Out To Play A Signal But All Of Them Are Not Shining, Cos All They Nows My Friend Is Sick Wish U A Cure Soon And Healthy Days Ahead. ==================== May The Little Flower, Laying In Gloom, Rise And Bloom, Swaying Endlessly, This Way And That Way, Morn To Dusk, Everyday. Get Well Soon! ======================= You Are Feeling Down And So Am I With You Not Around. Hope You Get Back In The Swing Of Things Real Soon. ====================== I Very Well Know The Reason, Why U R Taking Too Long To Recover, U R Really Being Nurse-D There. Joke A Part, But Still, Wishing U Speedy Recovery

Dard se dosti ho gayi yaaron, Zindagi bedard ho gayi yaaron. Kya hua jo jal gaya aashiyana hamara, Door tak roshni to ho gayi yaaron.. ........................................................ Waqt bahot kam he Saath bitane me; Ise na gawana kabhi ruthne manane me; 'RISHTA' to humne bandh hi liya he aapse; Bas thoda sa Saath de dena ise Nibhane me. ........................................................ Bagair jane pehchane ikrar na kijiye, Muskura kar dil ko bekarar na kijiye, Gulab bhi de jate hai zakhm gehra kabi kabi, Har Gulab par yu aitbaar na kijiye. ........................................................ Karoge yaad ek din is pyar ke zamane ko, Chale jayenge jab hum kabhi na vapas aane ko. Chalega mehfil me jab zikr hamara koi, To tum bhi tanhayi dhundoge aansu bahane ko. ........................................................

Bekhudi Ki Zindagi Hum Jiya Nahi Karte, Yun kisika ka Jaam Hum Piya Nahi Karte. Unse Kehdo Mohabbat Ka Izhaar Aakar Khud Karein, Yun Kisika Peecha Hum Nahin Kartea ............................................... Waqt guzarta raha par sanse thami si thi, muskura rahe the hum, par ankho mein namisi thi, sath hamare ye jahan tha sara, par na jane kyun kisi ki kami si thi.... ............................................... Tum mujhe bhul na paoge, Is kadar hum tumhe yaad aayenge... Yakeen na aaye to aaine me dekhna, Teri aankhon me hum nazar aayenge.... ............................................... Aankhon ki zubhan wo samajh nahi pate, Hoth magar kuch keh nahi pate, Apni bebasi kis tarah kahe, Koi hai jiske bina hum reh nahi pate ...............................................

Chaewala ladki dekh kar bola: bholi si soorat, ankhaon mein masti, dur khadi sharmaye, aae haaye, Ladki boli: kali si surat, haath me ketli, dur khara chilaye, chae chae. ............................................... Boy says 2 girl: tute hue dil se pyar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi. Girl says: tuti hui chapal se pite ga ya chappal tutne tak pitega. ............................................... Hotel mein khana kha k sardar haath k badle wash basin dhone laga. Waiter ne pucha kya kar rahe ho? Sardar bola: dikhta nahi lekha hai wash basin ............................................... Husband: if I die, will u remarry? Wife: no, I'll stay with my sister. Wife: if I die will u remarry? Husband: no I'll also stay with your sister. ...............................................

Munna: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai. Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai. .............................................. Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai. Circuit: Aey Bhai ! Aap to khud doctor ho. Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na. .............................................. CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko. MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na. .............................................. CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please. MUNNABHAI :...

Tum hanso to khusi mujhe hoti hai, Tum rodo to aankhein meri roti hain. Mehsoos kar ke dekh lo…..Dosti aise hi hoti hai. ................................... Har koi pyar k liye tadapta hai…. Har koi pyar k liye rota hai…. Ae dost ye dosti sada kayam rakhna… Kyunki sabse jyada pyar iss dosti mei he hota hai… ................................... Wada to nahi karte dosti nibhaynge, Koshish yahi rahegi apko nahi satayenge, Zarurat pade to dilse pukarna, Marte bhi honge to mohlat lekar aayenge ................................... Karni Khuda se kuch fariyaad baaki hai, Hamein unse kehni kuch baat baaki hai… Maut aegi to kehna ruk,abhi apne Dost se Mulaakaat baaki hai…. ...................................

Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing? Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole. ................................................. Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again. ................................................. Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long...! ................................................. Santa: I have swallowed a Kay. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too. .................................................

How did Santa tried to kill a bird?? He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die. ................................................. Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station Where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators ................................................. Titanic was sinking. An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards! ................................................. SANTA: DUBAI me sub kuch FREE hai TAXI HOTEL KHANA PINA YAHA TAK SEX BHI FREE HAI BANTA : are yaar TU kub gaya tha SANTA; mai nahin meri bibi jakar ayi hai .................................................

Acha dost "Hath" aur "ankh" ki tarhan hota hai. Jab "haath" ko taqleef hoti hai to "ankh" roti hai, Aur jab "ankh" roti hai to "hath" ansoo ponchta hai. ........................................ Milte hai acche Dost sirf khushnasibo ko, Isliye hamari Kismat se jalna chod do, Tamanna ho agar hamare dost se milne ki, To jakar AAINA dekh lijiye... ........................................ Har aahat ehsaas hamara dilaayegi., Har hawa khushbu hamari laayegi.; Hum dosti aisi nibhaayengey yaara! Ki hum na honge aur humhari yaad tumhe sataayegi..! !! ........................................ Kabhi kabhi in ankhon me nami si hoti hai. Kabhi kabhi in hoton pe hasi si hoti hai. E dost wo tum hi ho, Jis se meri jindagi zinda dil hoti hai. ........................................

To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart. ....................................... Learn from the mistakes of others You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. ....................................... Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art. ....................................... Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. .......................................

Arz hai unki galiyon k chakkar kaatte kaatte Kutte hamare yaar ho gaye, Wo to hamare na ho sake Par hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye.. .................................. Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi. Sagar se gehra koi nahi. Aab aapki kya tarif karu... Dost me aap jaisa...Nalayak koi nahi! .................................. Mandir mein job karta hoon, Masjid mein adab karta hoon, Insan se kahin khuda na ban jaun Isliye roz tujhko SMS karke pap karta hoon. .................................. Mere taraf se aapko ek pappi, Apki friend ko ek pappi, Apki friend ki friend ko bhi ek pappi Kyonki aaj hi mere Dogi ne dus pappi ko janam dia hai. ..................................

OFFO, DOSTI KA SARA KAAM MUJHE KARANA PADATA HAI PHONE BHI, YAAD BHI, SMS BHI...... EK KILO SHUDDH SMS BHEJNA. SHUDDH NAHI SAMJATE ? DOSTI KA SMS HI, SABSE SHUDDAH HOTA HAI ....................................... Ahesas ke daman mai ansu girakar dekho, Dosti kitni sacchi hai ajmakar dekho, Aapko bhul kar kya hogi dil ki halat, Kisi aaine pe patthar gira kar dekho. ....................................... IS DOSTI KO YUHI BANAYE RAKHNA, DIL MAE YADO KE CHIRAG JALAE RAKHNA, BOHUT PYARA SAFER RAHA 2007 KA, EK HISSA HAMARA 2008 MAE BHI BANAYE RAKHNA ....................................... # SMILE # S; Sets u Free. M; Makes u Special I; Increases ur Face value L; Lifts up ur Spirit E; Erases all ur Tensions &;..So Smile yaar .......................................

Show your friends how much you care... Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you Have a circle of friends. ............................................ Friends, you and me... You brought another friend... And then there were 3... We started our group... Our circle of friends... And like that circle... There is no beginning or end... ............................................ A coin is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. The coin depreciates but a friend appreciates. I lost a coin when I smsed u, but it's okay because I got u. ............................................ A friend is sweet when it is new. And it is sweeter when it is true. But you know what? It is sweetest when it is u. ............................................

sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai. ........................................... Dil mein ek dard liye jiye ja raha hoon, Teri mohabbat ka jaam piye ja rahan hoon, Na chahte huye bhi ye kaam kiye jaa raha hoon, Na jane khud ko kaun si manzil par liye ja raha hoon. ........................................... Doodh Mein Uria, Mineral Water Mein Castic Soda, Pepsi Aur Coke Mein Pesticide, Yani Pani Wani Bhi Kharab, Ab Hum Kya Kare, Pure Bachi Bhi Hai To Sirf Yeh Sharab.. ........................................... Botal Chupa dena kafan mein meri Shamshan mein piya karunga Jab mangega hisab khuda ; To use bhi peg bana kar diya karunga... ...........................................

Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha. Ek admi ne pocha kya hua? Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka opreation karwane aata hai aur baal katwa k chala jata hai. .......................................... Ek sardar roz apne kitchen main jata, sugar box kholta aur band kar deta, Why? Because Dr. Ne jo kaha tha k apni sugar roz check karna. .......................................... Sardar: yar kal main bathroom gaya to wahan sher tha, 2nd sardar: hain phir tum ne kya kiya? 1st: kuch nahi main ne sher se kaha aap kar lo meri to nikal gai hai. .......................................... Pathan girl friend ko ghar le gaya, Sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin, Parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha : dekho humara watch main light jalta hai. ..........................................